Are you never coming back? My sister asked.
I was all packed. I once had to buy bathroom slippers in London at what felt like the price of a designer shoe. Then I find our puppy Fifi chewing on it a few weeks later!
Ouch!
I must therefore say I start packing early anytime I have to travel to avoid spending any extra dime. I was scheduled to attend a conference that I had been looking forward to. Business cards check, high -heels check, stockings check- no freezing and shining please. For some reason I have never been able to pack light. The girlie- girl in me almost carries my entire wardrobe or kitchen. I once carried a suit case friendly- juicer(or so i thought) to make my own fruit juice! It’s funny now that I remember.
My friend had been helping me get the approval I needed to attend a conference as a delegate. The two-weeks are often a beehive of activities .Hectic. Thus, knowing that he was having to talk to people, who were certainly on the run from one session to another, I greatly appreciated his going miles for me.
Any luck…have you heard from him/her, they….?
Read my texts every few hours while I held on to every reply in hope and whispering a prayer under my breath. Inwardly, I was truly thankful that my friend whom I highly respect had received his approval a few days earlier. He had a few speaking engagements and the conference meant a lot more for him.
On my end, I had such high hopes for two certain appointments. My God-sent girl friend had organized one of those. For me to meet this CEO of an organization for coffee. She had even helped draft my message to him.
He travels quite much so let’s see if I can get you to meet him physically at the conference, she had said to me.
This would have meant not just having the coffee but being able to listen to him in a few open sessions not marked as “High level or Invite only” at the conference.
I wouldn’t however want to load the weight of this expectation on my friend already at the conference. Having attended my first last year, I knew how it is- juggling a timetable of events, figuring out venues and dashing at rocket speed while trying hard not to ignore your long-lost friends that you meet in between sessions.
I didn’t travel. The travel approval didn’t come through, read part of my text.
I hadn’t put my phone down and my girl friend called me. I broke down. She knew how much this trip meant for me and so she asked if she could pray on the phone with me. I mumbled my approval and as she talked to God, I let my tears flow freely. She reminded me of God’s word and asked I look through every promise I have heard God speak to me.I have always been a strong put- together girl but I have learnt to let my guard down. I have received so much love and rode on the strength of others,the beauty of family and lovely friends.
End of the sadness😊.
I must be quick to say if I know there are tears ahead in a movie, I don’t watch it. So what do I watch? I actually enjoy people reviewing movies for me so your guess is right. I only like the silly, plot-less movies that make me laugh or sleep. My sister-in- love is the best movie companion 😊. The rest leave us alone in peace to watch our “type of movies”.
I am not able to look at a glass half empty for long.This must be God, as there are times I have had to wake up and try to remind myself what had put my spirit down the previous day. God truly grants sleep to those that He loves and when we cast our cares on him He sustains us. I think in my case and in the few hours I sleep, God also reboots my system and erases quite much that I do not need.
God overshadowed me with such a blanket of peace that I was now more concerned about my friend. I didn’t want him to feel bad knowing he had done his best for me. God knew I had no plan B so He didn’t get surprised by my missing it. He surely must have greater thoughts. I rested and tried my best to reassure him it was fine.
I have been on a journey with God. The earlier months were for collecting buckets of tears, then I stopped. I started asking God what to do and I could hear his voice perhaps even clearer than I ever have. I didn’t feel alone anymore because He needed me here- at the end of myself and undistracted so as to wholly depend on Him.
I have learnt that God may allow certain seasons. A pruned field may not look pretty but what remains will certainly blossom into something beautiful. I am watching the buds shooting slowly and I can’t wait to see the flowers in their full beauty once they are fully bloomed.
As I write this,i am smiling alone. God is Good.He turned around what felt like the end of the road for me in missing my Europe trip.I had to quickly switch my mind on to the next trip .So, I removed the high heels and replaced my official dresses in the suitcase with sun dresses while adding some hats and sandals.
I have just returned from that trip. Of all the journeys I have taken in my not so long life, this has been my best. While I have flown to this town more times than I can count for work, we took a rickety train whose seats I have been warned about but I enjoyed it so much, I purposed to do it again. I have laughed, cried, laughed again, received warm hugs from the mums in the group I traveled with, been confused for Swahili girl. They even gave me a name “Halima”. The mums were a shield from the cats-calls from curious men as we walked about the coastal town. I applied layers of sunscreen and hid behind my hats, so hopefully no one will ask me why I look like a gecko or lobster. Thank God for my chocolate skin!
I can’t wait to share about the experience soon…see you on the next post 😊
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