The Proverbs 31 woman has to be her own star before she can be someone else’s star.
An excellent wife is a crown for her husband- Proverbs 12:4
What makes for unpleasant journeys in the city of big lights is the incessant noise. Not really the excusable haggling over prices (every woman would like to boast of a killer bargain every once in a while!) but the unnecessary honking, or thoughtless insults hurled over a slower vehicle in a traffic jam. That is the city life but today is different. In the serene country side, the air is so crisp and fresh. Behold, what a beautiful sight as contrasted against the clear blue skies! At a distance I savor the moment watching the flowing waters suddenly drop, hitting the rocks far below and splashing in different directions. The birds flying over the waterfalls and diving into the waters seem to be having the time of their lives. In oblivion of course but I suppose they are looking for the day’s food-perhaps. I smile at a poster erected on the barricading fence, to safely keep overly enthusiastic persons like myself.
DO NOT JUMP OVER THIS FENCE 🙂
You see, nature has a way of displaying the splendor and beauty of its creator. It reveals truths of His word in just observing it. For sure a tree planted by the river is always green evidenced by the trail of trees by the river bed. Remember the promise to the one who studies His word day and night? Ooh and what beauty in watching and listening to the waterfalls which is equally powerful and calming.
…… “Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls, all your waves and breakers have swept over me…”
Aren’t there times life’s hustle and all the bustle it brings feels like waves breaking over us leaving us to call on God? Yet what joy to know that He calls on us as well in such times and speaks in the midst of chaos.
As I walk beside the fence to get a good shot at the waterfall, I recall a conversation with my mother. Perhaps, so clear because I did not have a convincing answer.
“I need to get away for the weekend for some me time,” I had mentioned.
“Will you be asking for leave from your husband or obligations as a mum when that time comes?” She asked.
In fact, that puzzled me more for I am not in that season yet. As it is, I still find myself having to wear different hats which is taxing sometimes and which calls for a personal retreat of sorts. The woman in Proverbs 31 offers a serious challenge. Isn’t she busier than the modern 21st century woman-juggling school and work and whatever else? Does she ever rest? She moves form leading her servants, to buying land, to spinning wool and linen to traveling in search of food for her household, to opening her home to the poor, to…..The list is endless. How does she manage it all?
No doubt the husband of the Proverbs 31 woman has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She complements the one her father presented her to in their journey together which is to be enjoyed rather than endured. She does not compete with him. A help meet is what God had in mind when He put him to sleep, got a rib from his side and created her for him. Her husband is respected at the city gate. Only leaders in ancient times and walled cities would seat at the city gates. As he is taking care of the affairs of the city he can rest assured that she is taking care of the affairs of their household and what they are building together. He can therefore comfortably take his seat amongst the elders of the land knowing at the end of the day he will retreat to her.
In addition, the woman of excellence is a pillar of strength to those in her life. The puzzle is incomplete without the mention of her name but how can she be this central piece if she is weak? Or lost? Or fatigued? This woman is therefore the one who takes care of herself. She treats herself with kindness and takes time to rest. She knows truly well that she can not offer what she does not have. She will hence often retreat for her to regenerate her body just as her father will direct her to be transformed by the renewal of her mind. Rewarding herself might be part of what rejuvenates her or perhaps its retreating in the wild, away from the usual in her life. She certainly knows that she has to be her own star before she can be someone else’s star-loving another as she does herself. Hasn’t her Father commanded that she loves her neighbor as she loves herself?
It is in her moments alone which ultimately mean with her Father when she has retreated and resting in His quietness that He will adorn her with the never fading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. This woman is not your usual drama queen or the one sending people to the roof with her lethal tongue and stinging words. The Proverbs 31 woman speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. He has taught her that her tongue has the power of life and death. She seeks to speak life giving words just like her father’s words continually speak life in hers. This woman’s presence is therefore a sweet place to simply hang out and rest. Like a well with sweet waters to draw from, her speech is refreshing; she is an encourager. No wonder others will put so much confidence in her and the words she utters. For out of the abundance of her heart which loves God, her mouth will speak. She knows this too well, for she has been with the lover of her soul. That is why her husband will retreat back to her for rest at the end of the day after conquering the world.
Royalty is synonymous with purple. Knowing she is beautiful inside she seeks to reflect the glory within her outside. Hence royalty is what this woman exudes. I can imagine the Proverbs 31 woman next to me in a bus or train. People stealing a glance at the bearer of that subtle and sweet fragrance. She is dressed in fine line and purple. In that brief glance, a lot is revealed, mainly that she took time to look good and classy which is never about having money. She did not do it for anyone but herself.
Has this woman graced this 21st century? The one who is totally dependent on her Father? The woman who is constantly seeking His higher power regardless of where she is at, be it in board room, in a meeting at a hotel, along a court corridor, while in between calls and serving clients, while attending to a customer over a bank counter……God knows she can handle it and excellently at that. It is this woman who will be able to change the different hats that life accords her, from being a career woman, to the shopping girlfriend, to a mother, a wife and a best friend to her mate, roles she will perfectly fit in by the help of her Father. She knows the power in retreating and renewing her strength is God.
Hard as it may seem, she will maintain a balance. She may have what seems too much for her to do and some days she will feel like some of the components of her life are spilling out. Her God will keep her together, holding in His hands what seems to be spilling over but until she is able to hold it all together. He will not give her more than she can handle. He reassurance emanates from her Father’s words that she is a crown of splendor and a royal diadem in the Lord’s hand.
…..Now you see why I will have an answer when I get back from my retreat?
“Many women do noble things but you surpass them all.”
Scripture references:Psalms 42:7 Proverbs 31:10-31, Genesis 2:18,Romans 12:2,Mathew 22:39,1 Peter 3:3-4,Proverbs 25:24.Mathew 12:34,Proverbs 18:21,Isaiah 62:3
This article was first published on the LSR Christian Magazine in 2012.
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