Pearl, what is your opinion on the letter from the bank sent on email yesterday? It’s my boss on the other end.
I am barely awake in as much as its 8 am. My internal clock is yet to fully adjust, I guess.
“Please give me about an hour. I only schemed through it last evening” ,I fumble with my croaky voice. I am still in bed as my first meeting is at 10am.
“Take your time. I know your flight was late in the evening”, he says calmly but I can hear his voice shake in fear.
I can understand him, as we have been dealing with one threat after another. Jumping from one court corridor to another in different countries. Try to catch water with your hands-pointless.
“Lord, please hasten your steps in moving on my behalf and opening my next door“,I whisper a prayer as I gather myself to get out of bed but curl myself in the couch next to the window .What a beautiful view of the hills in the horizon-land of a thousand hills indeed.
I arrived at the hotel room about 1am. With my normal bedtime routine, it had taken me another two hours to freshen up and be ready for bed. I suppose my body was still a little confused as just a few days before, I had been on another outrageously long trip. I did attempt to create time for rest during this earlier trip while working on the never-ending disputes. I should be grateful that I am busy but it feels like this ship is sinking and am still in it at the high seas.
“Don’t you care that we are perishing!? Do you hear those men in the boat screaming their lungs out! Yet Jesus is fast asleep in the same boat. I wonder why the beautiful view outside my hotel room has redirected my mind to a stormy night the disciples had while at seas.
When scriptures say that God gives us peace that surpasses human understanding, He truly does.No explanation of the serenity i have thrived in last few months.In fact,i have plugged back into what has brought me lots of joy outside of work -reconnecting with oneself once in a while is incredibly fulfilling.Balance .At least I have more clarity on what’s truly important in a job and that has little to do with the pay cheque.I seem to have been asleep in a boat on a stormy sea. In spite of my being in the heart of a storm at the work place, I have been at rest; blindly trusting. I purposed to pour my fears to Jesus so as to spare my loved ones.Perhaps because even my bosses have been in a panic and i have found myself having to be the calmness barometer 🙂 in meetings.Must be the only way I am able to encourage someone else that God is coming through for them while silently and prayerfully waiting and trusting Him to perform a miracle for me too. This peace can only be divine as the threats land on my desk first or at least for me to try figure out what legal response or recourse will be. Maybe because God has kept me hoping and looking up for that rescue-they look to him and are radiant is a promise i confess every day.Informal chats at times have kept me going and hopeful.These have been in form of significant discussions in the last few months-call them ‘get to know you’ or interviews,some even over a cup of tea. In fact in one of my trips, I had one of those that had been divinely orchestrated.
Lord, I haven’t heard time to pray and hear your mind about this specific one.
An earlier conversation is still fresh on my mind- one of my mentors,an elderly man that i respect not just because of their age,experience (professional and in life) but the wisdom that they exude.He had implored me to take it in stride and just meet “them” when you travel. That ever cautious girl and my mind is still telling me that i need to know a little more .Yet who do I ask?
I have come close making wrong decisions before, in fact I think I have but God turned those for my good.So I dare never to step into anything without asking God about it.A wrong step can take years to undo if at all its possible.
“Don’t limit yourself Pearl.they are the ones seeking you out and not you. They would like to meet you, so see what they offer in as much as that might mean a huge change for you. Then decide if it’s worth it.In any case if the others revert back earlier, you are better off with a few options than banking on one and it delays or never comes through“
“Lord move little faster now?” the ever constant whisper on my lips.
Serenity ,unfading beauty of a peaceful spirit- my constant prayer from the timeless words in 1 Peter 3:3-4.Am i being tested?
Adorn yourself with the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God.
A gentle and a quiet spirit is also one that is calm,serene,still,silent or peaceful. You see, there will always be circumstances that will disrupt the quietness of our hidden person and who is the real you and I.I have had all the reasons to be terrified like the men inside the boat with a sleeping Jesus.
How can we maintain a gentle and quite spirit in a world or times where we have little or no control of people or circumstances? The disciples encountered a threat; to the quietness of their inner man.Mark 4:35-41 says that On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side.” 36 Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. 37 And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. 38 But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?”39 Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace,[g] be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. 40 But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How[h] is it that you have no faith?” 41 And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, “Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!”
Why is a gentle and quiet spirit precious in God’s sight and why should we strive for it from this passage?
It’s an expression of confidence that Jesus is in the boat of your life with you and so you are able to sleep through even in moments that expect you to be in a panic. Jesus was asleep in the boat. He knew He is the son of God, the one who created the seas and the winds. It pleases God when we know who we are and whose we are.Easy to say but not so easy to live it out :-),ask me.
That all it takes is for God to speak and there is calmness.Sometimes He doesn’t speak or calm the storm as fast as we want him to. He hasn’t yet quieted the storm.Still receiving more threats to the lifeline of the business that I draw my daily bread from. May be the winds blowing so hard and rocking the boat only soothed Jesus to sleep even deeper. Even the winds and waves obey him. You and I have been given authority to speak to situations that are acting up and order them to be still.
A peaceful spirit is precious in God’s sight because it demonstrates faith.When Jesus was woken up, He asked them “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith? Without faith we really cannot please God. Have faith that greater is He that is in you, in your life boat with you than He that is in the world.
Remaining calm is also an expression of surrender, yielding that which is beyond us to God. It is reaching your end but knowing all too well that it just a beginning for God and so we rest, we keep calm and we sleep.
A beep on my phone brings me back to my reality.I have been looking out for activity on my phone for that long awaited call for a new offer.
“I will share it with external counsel and we can discuss once I am back tomorrow. I believe we have solid grounds to challenge the notice,” I advise while returning my bosses earlier call.
In as much as I am not fully convinced, I choose to be like Jesus who remains calm in the storm . God seems to be taking too long to drop me that rescue rope for me to jump out but i choose not to allow the storm to get to me.
Peace be still
As i wait,I choose to place my options at His feet for i don’t want to step on a path He hasn’t ordained for me to walk.I choose to sleep in boat as Jesus is in it 🙂
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