“Am so tired of waiting Pearl, Crystal quipped dropping her handbag on the table and laying back her head on the seat, eyes closed.
I had watched her walk to the coffee shop. Crystal walked elegantly; her head held up high. She is not the type of girl you would fail to notice along the street, tall, beautiful and regal. But this day, her entire body screamt of physical fatigue.
“Should I ask how your day was?” I attempted to ask as she stretched her hands adorning her well manicured nails to hold on to the table as though holding on to it for support.
“I have been so low the entire day’’ she said her gaze shifting outside the window. “I feel so tired of waiting and particularly today. Haven seems silent on this one Pearl”.
That coming from Crystal was a heavily loaded statement. This has been a fortified girl, the kind who always has a wise word often backed by scripture. Why I would almost drop everything for a “ I need to talk call” was because she has a relationship with God so real in the way she talks about Him. It has always been contagious. She is my iron sharpens iron “kind of friend. So on this day I knew I just needed to listen.
“I feel alone-not lonely really. Like I desire to share my life with someone and not a need. “She went on.
Trust Crystal to be so careful with her words son as to be understood well. I have no doubt that the man that gets her will sure be lucky.Crystal is the kind of girl who will often take off to trips by herself. She has a small circle of solid friends and so it’s a blessing to be counted as one. She will drop everything for those that she deeply cares about. Loyalty.
“ I’m struggling to trust God to bring that special friend in my life. It’s turning more into resignation. I feel that I am ready to relate and on top of that I have been faithful to God, walked in obedience yet that seems to be the one thing that God has withheld from me. Not that I don’t have a choice to say yes to someone, but my values as I know God has convicted me won’t just allow me”.
A waitress comes to wait on her as I sip my cocoa which is now lukewarm (yuk) and she shrugs her away.
“I am tired of feeling a longing for companionship that is not being fulfilled”.
She shifts her focus to the flat screen where a football match with her favorite team Manchester -United is playing. That seems to bring some glitter in her eyes, well at least.
Not such a big football enthusiast myself, so its easy to drift as she is already captivated by the game .I could not help but think about a particular man, yes a man who was so deep in these heart matters especially with God. This was a man whose heart was beautiful. One who laid it out as it is when he was down and out, when he was happy, when he felt like God was just not listening anymore. Meet David, a king who was not dignified when it came to God, I imagine him taking a walk to talk to God and he pours his heart out.
Lord you know what I long for and you hear all my groans but why are you silent?
God knows the desires of our hearts and can hear even through your silence when you are quietly giving up when an answer is delayed. It’s human to grow weary of waiting on God especially to them who choose not to orchestrate or take life into their own hands and help God, to do what He “seems” to be delaying to do..You could easily become tired of waiting especially when you feel ready to move to the next stage of your life but its not God’s time yet.
“Crystal no good thing….”
Interrupting my statement,” Yes Pearl, I know no good thing will He withhold from those whose walk is blameless .I know that verse and I have told God His word enough times”. She offered as she continued to watch the game.
I can only pray that her future mate is a soccer fun and he will be the happiest man to have his favorite person watch his favorite sport with him.
See, sometimes we get to that point that Crystal was that evening, we not only feel tired but we start accusing God for “not listening” to our prayers and sometimes we resign to not telling him our hearts desires. Yet the waiting period has such a divine purpose. Don’t miss out on the purpose of the season. For some it’s longer while others its pretty brief. Yet God has divine purposes for each season and remember everyone has their own path.
The psalmist shares with us a secret he discovered. That the Lord has assigned you your portion and your cup. Understand that the season of waiting is a God ordained season where God desires to be your all. Remember He will still want to be your number one even when He brings her or him along. I am reminded of a dear friend now in her mid forties, she is married to a good man who loves and cares for her deeply, the type you’d say surpasses all other men (if there is such a thing and sorry guys) but for the last 12 years of her marriage she has been waiting on God for the blessing of a child.
Discover God’s thought or idea regarding your season of waiting and live life abundantly in completeness in Him. It might be for a life partner, a child, a job that you are waiting for but the principles of the waiting season are the same.
Isaiah 58:11 God reassures us that there will be those days when we feel that the sun of life is too hot and we can’t withstand it anymore. That instead of enjoying the warmth of the early morning sunshine in your season of waiting, you feel the scorching heat. Is it not wonderful that He would give us a promise for such times? That in a sun scorched land I will satisfy your needs and I will strengthen your frame. It could be the need of the moment is companionship and God knows that. Like King David, you can tell God exactly what is going on in your heart and mind. You see, if you are relating, its only natural that the first person you would think of sharing your heart is your special one but if God has given you the gift of single hood, yes it’s a gift, its because he desires you share your heart with him. Yet often it will be easier to complain to God on why he has not brought her or him yet into your life. Get real with God.Think of how God feels when you would rather be with someone else and ultimately express discontentment with His gift to you on singlehood.
David in Psalms 22 dares ask God serious questions. God why have you abandoned me? I keep crying desperately for help but it still does not come. During the day I call to you but you do not answer. This man had God for a best friend. He didn’t cringe when asking some questions. That is something special we can learn while in waiting season. Amazingly in his open groaning David would end up acknowledging the greatness of God. In his talk to God, He would be reminded of past instances when God had proved himself faithful. He would often end up confessing again his trust in God.
You can not afford to sulk on God on days you feel defeated or weary of waiting. Choose to pour your heart to God. He will not necessarily rush to answer your prayer. Remember He is God but he will fill your life with Himself, His joy and cause you to be complete in him. It’s a beautiful season to while away grumbling in discontentment. God has promised you an abundant life and you can experience that through the changing seasons of your life. Simply ask of Him. You see Adam was alone in the garden and never even realized He was alone. .It was until God saw that it was not good, that Adam needed a helper. God is the author of the different seasons. Ask Him to show you the beauty of your waiting season!
As we walk out with Crystal seems to have brightened up and is back to herself. Her team has won but I can’t help remember the words of a song by John Waller,
While am waiting I will serve you,
While am waiting I will worship you
While am waiting I will not faint
I‘ll be running the race even while I wait ;-))
Isaiah 58:11, Proverbs 27:17,Psalms 38:9,Psalms 84:11,Psalms 22,Ecllesiates 3:11,
Article was first published on LSR Christian magazine in 2012.
No Comments