Written in gold

“Pearl!………………Pearl!”

Eh, who is that whispering my name loudly while others are praying?

I had just walked into church. I am not a creature of habit, get bored with routines and therefore enjoy some spontaneity every so often. However, I have a favorite spot in church at the Eastern wing. The comfort of my feet in heels made the decision because the distance from the parking lot is shorter compared to the walk on the Western wing.

So, I will often sit in some select pews, right underneath the camera and the videographer. I am not shy by any standards but for some reason seeing my face flashed on a screen feels too intrusive for my privacy. So, I sit where the videographer would have to pull some kung-fu moves to focus on me.

In short,you will never see my face on a screen in church 😊.

So even the mere shout was enough for me to quickly take a detour from the seat I was headed to just to avoid the attention Martin in calling my name was making. Ykes!

One of my most fulfilling things is spending time with older teens and those in campus. I get to practice my dance moves and don’t these kids break a leg! But really, I enjoy listening to their questions. I have cried with a few girls when they ask to speak to me and for a prayer as they figure out life. I have gone home appreciating God for how sheltered I have been, when I hear such heavy loads younger girls have carried.

I met Martin randomly at one of the high schools and he seems to be tracking me down in a rather big church.

The leader of the service invites us to stand for worship.

“Eh,Kumbe girl you can sing”(Girl ,so you can sing), he says  as  he leans over  at a safe distance. His whispers are loud and I bet those around us can hear.

Awkward.

I smile in silence and close my eyes to pray. It’s a sacred moment. Time to speak with God and so I hoped he could read my mind as well.

Probably if I had hots for him I wouldn’t mind the interruption.

I don’t.

Moments later, I am typing my short notes as the preacher is speaking and Martin whispers again.

“Iko wapi note book yako?” (Where is your church note book)

With a wry half- hearted smile I whisper back “I prefer writing my short notes on my phone.”

I am clearly a distraction or rather he is. His focus is on me and not everything going on in church but we get to the end of the sermon and have to say the benediction.

“Ah, and you are taller today!” He says bending to check my feet.

I love comfort but my dress for this Sunday looked better in high heels so am not in my flats.

I’ve been told it that it takes me a while to recognize guys that are smitten with me.

He politely requested to walk me to the gate of the parking lot and asked if he can buy me coffee during the week. The third time he has asked.

Ykes -I gently turn him down (hope I was gentle enough) but vow to myself that I must change my seat from next Sunday!

I asked God to let me know when it’s time to have someone hold my hand for the rest of my earthly journey. That slot is reserved only for Boaz. Martin is not the one and we are too different anyway.

And yes, I have double checked on one or two that have asked for a casual coffee date. God didn’t give me peace especially knowing their intentions for something more.

No.

So, I turned them down also. I don’t believe in wasting anyone’s time just not to feel alone.

Esther season has not been just about intentionally enjoying my single hood but a re-calibration of a lot more while I rest in God. Asking God to preserve me for Boaz has meant avoiding anything that will get me into an emotional entanglement with a man.Safeguarding that part of me for my husband who I desire and pray will be my best friend. I trust God to do the same for me on Boaz’s end.Maybe why there was a season for Esther and other girls to be separated before each had a turn to meet the King? I allowed God to bring purpose to my waiting season.

So, I have let my hair down, dressed up and gone out on solo dates every so often. Yes-you read that right 😊. I enjoy serene places and so will have an afternoon with my iPad, soft music and journal away til sun set. I call them dates with God so yes, I always have company.

The ambivert in me genuinely enjoys her own company and gets my cup filled up in serene alone moments. That way, when the extroverted Pearl shows up, the introverted Pearl is not running on empty.

I’ve been confident of that promise I felt God make me about Boaz. A deep assurance that He is writing that chapter of my(our) book in gold 😊, through seasons of refining. God must be working on and in both of us.At least I know God enrolled me in a certain school. Sometimes I wonder, but choose to lay any thoughts at His feet.And knowing marriage is a key component of one’s destiny, I pray differently for the one even before we become. That I be the helper God designed for me to be. I am certainly not the same woman I was months back or even years back.

Surrender. Trust. Peace. Rest.

Invaluable gems only found in God.

Handing that desire to love and be loved over to God has brought me so much peace and freedom. I have found unfathomable joy and fulfillment in living in the moment. That doesn’t mean a perfect life. Oh, mine is not and am not! I have been through some fiery furnace but purposed to smell like my Tom Ford perfume or even better,lol! Isn’t that what happened to the three Hebrew boys who were Daniel’s pals. I bet the devil doesn’t know what to do with me anymore as I refused to retreat, to surrender or to be bowed down by anything.

Not for a woman who knows God. I must become all He wrote about me in His book as He reveals and helps me walk my journey on paths He uniquely charted for me. Be it at the market place, in serving God, as a wife and on the family front-name it.

Funny part also is that when we are at rest, we glow differently-been told I have been for a while now.

Some are convinced that I just haven’t told them who Boaz is and that I have hidden him from them for my apparent glow(not sure what they’ve been seeing).

Nosy nosy o (Nai9ja tone).

Why would I not trust the author of my life to unfold it for me? The glow must be at the very least from my alone moments with God and confidence He’s got this for me.

Firmly grounded.

Always been that girl with dreams bigger than herself but only because it’s all anchored on faith in her big God. So, catch me chasing after my dreams while I wait😊. And yes,the season also birthed a builder & re-builder- amazingly the theme message at church.

Always aware the enemy would do anything to ensure I don’t become what God intended for me to be. Hasn’t that revelation birthed a fierce prayer warrior! So, every so often I will lock myself indoors to flog it out with destiny at the place of prayer,even if in tears not just for me but for those that I care about.

My earnest prayer is that I leave a mark in my family and my generation in whichever small or big way-not just accolades and shelves decorated with earthly trophies.

That She walked with God.

Thankful that God continues to write my story in golden ink and certainly looking forward for His turning pages to a certain chapter in His time🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️.